October 27, 2010


Nineteen years ago today, October 26th 1991, the day of The Perfect Storm, I was screaming and writhing in pain at Salem Hospital in Salem, Massachusetts. ¬†Salem is the witch city and I was giving birth to a little witch. ¬† Although I didn’t know at the time that she would be such a witch. ¬†Well she isn’t that bad. ¬†No, I’m just being politically correct she a witch. ¬†What do you expect from a gorgeous, talented, knockout 19-year-old who was born on the same day as The Perfect Storm.

So I don’t lose the guys here I put in a picture of Jackie AND this is not about childbirth. ¬†If you have kids or any of your friends or relatives have kids you have heard all the horror stories. ¬†597 hours of labor, all the screaming and name calling. ¬†Really it’s not that bad, that’s what I tell all pregnant woman, don’t worry….ya it hurts, it hurts alot, but you’ll be fine.

Just got off the phone with the little witch, Jackie, to have our happy birthday phone call, she moved in with her father when she was 13 (witch) so we usually have the birthday phone call, and it got me to thinking.

As I sit here today 19 years after having give birth to my last child I do recall the pain of birth, and it was painful but it was so great when it was over and I was on the other side. Can one explain the amazing experience of having children? ¬†No. ¬†It’s to big but it’s totally worth a few hours of pain.


The Master Key Master Mind Alliance reminds me of the process of having a child and that’s what came to me after my conversation. ¬†No one can explain the amazing experience of the MKMMA. ¬†You just can’t explain it. ¬†You gotta do it yourself to know.

We start this process and it really exciting and fun, like making a baby. ¬†A little while in we start to get really sick and scared, 1st trimester. ¬†Then it seems kind of OK. ¬†I’m getting it or at least I think I am. ¬†Then we’re really fat, ugly and freaking out. ¬†Metaphorically of course I don’t want to offend, just how I was felling at the time. ¬†So now that we have been living with this weight, this anticipation of something awesome happening here comes the pain. ¬†Maybe, maybe not. ¬†It’s different for everyone for me it feels sometimes like I’m the baby sometimes the mom. ¬†Maybe you got to squeeze thur some little hold half the size of your head. ¬†Maybe you’re already half way thur and it’s just a little push. ¬†Sometimes it hurts so bad you gotta have the spinal thing. ¬†Sometimes the pain is not so bad and you can take it. ¬† For me it’s been painful and wonderous just like my Jackie.

You become someone different when you’re on the other side. ¬†It’s work, you have doubts, you think you’re doing it wrong. ¬†Holy Guacamole how the heck am I going to do this every single day for 26 weeks!!!! ¬†That was what I thought many times during the course the 1st time thru. ¬†For myself and for the students. ¬†Then it just becomes part of you. ¬†You miss it when it’s not there. ¬†You become protective and don’t let anybody mess with your sacred time. ¬†You nurture, help it grow.

It’s so great to be on the other side, will there be more pain, maybe, maybe. ¬†But Man-O-Man all the joy, peace, gratitude, power. ¬†It’s fantastic. ¬†It’s totally worth the 168 hours of labor. ¬†That’s only 1 week can you believe it? ¬†I would have gladly given up one week of my life for my Jackster. ¬†One week to change everything. ¬†Totally worth it.

blessings and believe,


About the author 

The Fab Davene

President and CEO of Training Solutions, LLC Davene has successfully run this lucrative training company for over 20 years. Subscribe for the 7-Day Mental Diet and get started on your new life.

  • Wow…yes, just yesterday I was thinking that this journey is similar to the ‘pangs of birth.’ Perhaps the whole experience of ‘being with child,’ the child being our dreams. And from the female perspective, having all the crazy emotional swings that comes with it. The intense joy as you ‘feel’ the child move within you and the intensity of the irrational and unpleasant uprisings that comes with the change in your body. But, oh the joy when the baby comes!

    Thanks Davene, I really needed that!

  • Shoot…after that, I’m sure thankful that God gave me the “other” plumbing!

    In reality, for me, The Fab Davene’s analogy seems curiously apt (curious since I have no frame of reference for the pain of childbirth). Yet, she has captured what I have in fits and bits experienced thus far as I dance down the garden path to the shangri-la of MKMMA.

    Coupled with that is some self-doubt…similar to the fleeting moment when my first-born (Justin) peeked out to see what the delivery room looked like. I clearly remember (almost 26 1/2 years ago), wondering “why” his mom and I conspired to bring such an innocent into this messed up world.

    I still don’t know why, and I still remember in way too vivid detail much of the heartache encountered as Justin demonstrated his proficiency with ALL the tools of teenage rebellion.

    I don’t want that in my life ever, ever again much as I sometimes catch myself thinking I don’t want to read the First Scroll ever, ever again, or say aloud, for the third time today my DMP (and so forth), but…let me tell you this…

    I am just as sure that I will always be happy that I have chosen to stay the course with MKMMA as I have ALWAYS ALWAYS been happy that God, Justin’s mom and I brought this neat, neat guy into our world. I am MUCH richer for the experience and why would it be any different for me and MKMMA?

    Thank you Davene and Mr. Laziest…for all you do for us.

  • Having been there 3 times, I can relate! For me, the payoff is today I have 3 really wonderful grown up kids…there were some incredibly (very incredibly) tough times with all of them at different times in their lives, including the births, but today the payoff is enjoying them as young adults. There’s nothing like it as a mom! And you’re right Davene, Jackie is beautiful!

  • Thank you Davene for sharing your thoughts. Yes you’re right – this is so much like child birth – even though both were C-sections – the first emergency, so I know the birthing pain, the second one was scheduled – that pain came later. She had colic for 9 MONTHS!!! Different kind of pain, but still pain. Some days for me are like the months of colic when I thought I was losing my mind. But in the end it all works out better than we ever expected….more than we ever expected & we then look back & appreciate the experience for the lessons learned. Looking & seeing the end of the journey with joy in my heart!

  • I agree with Lisa, Jackie is lovely! Our trying times are like given birth to child. The rewards are inseparable joy. Beautiful post and meaningful. Hard work always pays off. Thanks for all you do Davene.

  • Hey Mark & Davene,
    Wow, I like the comparison of childbirth and MKMMA! I can really relate the anxiety, fear, excitement, joy, happiness and pain of child birth. Likewise, I am going through the same process in MKMMA – anxious, fearful, excited, joyful, happy and yet painful at times. But hey, I choose the pain, I choose to face the fear and I choose to work on my doubts and worries, because I know deep inside that I want to find my inner power and come face to face with my true self deep inside. Looking forward to the rest of the 21 weeks!!!
    Best wishes and more growth,

  • I never had a baby, I was with my wife on both occasions when our sons were born. I totally get what your saying Davene, This is week 5 the first four weeks have been a mix of pain, success, hard work, lots and lots of challenges but in week 5 BOOM! breakthrough
    I loved this article. you paint the picture and convey your message very very well.

  • I relate, and it is worth it. Somehow, we can remember the hard times, but we can RELISH the good times. Times when we watched our kids growing up. “Son, do you have to go SO FAST down that hill on your bike?”. “Where is Yvonne, she left on her horse 2 hours ago? ” Maybe we need to “remember” their growing years and emulate them instead of being stuck in the cement of adulthood. So Adventuresome, fearless, even reckless, because they knew they had a safe place to come to. Thank you Mark and Davene for investing yourselves into providing a safe place for us to come back to as we continue our growth. I’m laughing now as I think of how many times I heard “Look Mom” as they tried a new skill. “Look Mark and Davene” we’re trying new skills and growing!! Thanks!

  • […] work which we have been given to do over the past five weeks is suddenly starting to pay off . (Davene’s Blog has a great description) I am changing and those changes are NOT subtle or gradual. This is so bloody awesomely exciting I […]

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