December 26, 2012

How To Get The Life You Always Wanted

I love the magazine headlines, I purchase alot of wellness, health, fitness mags and they ALWAYS have some version of this headline. On Cosmo and Vogue too. They appeal to our slothful nature and tell us there just this 1 little thing we can do and all our dreams will come true.

And we buy it, over and over and over. The self help gurus do it too.

Although I believe their karma is much more dangerous because they are supposed to know better that Madison Avenue.

My genius husband, Mark Januszewski, The World’s Laziest Networker always says, “If it’s SELF help then why are you paying someone ELSE to tell you what to do?” Think about it.

Anyway these silly headlines make me think of all these quotes I get via email and on FB – Here’s one I found today.

I WANT-I WANT-I WANT. Everyday you hear people saying what they want. Well, this is what I want, I want people who are sick to be healed. I want children with no families to be adopted. I want people to never have to worry about food and shelter and heat. Most of all, I would like to see our people start to care for one another. Now let’s see how many people share this.

Now I know the person who posted this and to all appearances there is a decent heart there. There’s nothing wrong with it, as a matter of fact 36K people liked it and shared it.

What’s most unfortunate is that all those people don’t have a clue. We create the life we have, no matter what. It doesn’t matter how much you want people to be happy, healthy and free it’s up to them not you! You just live a good life and set a good example – but I digress.

Here’s what happens. Some of this person’s “FB friends” and the other 36K saw this and commented, and some shared. And here is the tragedy – they will believe that they actually did something.

Here’s what scares me about that and our future – and our unhealthy obsession with Social Media, curse you Zuckerberg (Kidding it’s not his fault).

People really think they are making a difference or doing something productive by posting this bumper sticker crap on FB and whatever social media sites we have let take over our lives. Or if they hit like that they have actually DONE some good in the world.

I am not saying the posting of quotes and and inspiration stuff is bad. I’m saying that if you do that or you like it or share it don’t have a false belief that you have done something that will make any difference in this world.

You have NOT!

All you did was spread a little motivational vapor. And motivation is like a warm bath, it feels really good in the beginning but after 20 minutes all you are doing is sitting in a puddle of cold, dirty water. Motivation and inspiration doesn’t change anything!!! Irritation now that works. The World’s Laziest Networker will tell you, “I don’t believe in motivation, irritation that’s what I believe in.”

If you believe in movitation check this out.

When my mom died suddenly in 1993, at the very young age of 56, so many of her contemporaries said to me. “Your mom’s death has inspired me to change. I’m gonna live more, better, healthier whatever.” Or some version of that.

Guess what none of the did. None. If the sudden and tragic death of a loved one won’t change people do you really believe a quote on FB will?

Here’s what you have to do in order to have the life you’ve always wanted – ACT – do some good, actual good. Now today!

Find out which politicians share your views and vote for them, not just the person with the most ads. Write to your representatives or the White House and tell them how you feel about what’s happening in this country or world. However you may view things.

I don’t believe you have to look past our own neighborhood to make a difference. ACT is what I’m saying. Think Globally if you like, act locally to make a difference.

Do you see someone in your neighborhood struggling. What can you do to be of service? Get creative. Do you know someone at work who could use a leg up. Do you have a classmate who could use a friend. Is there an elderly person who could use a meal, or a errand, or just a smile and a hello. A suffering child – how can you make a real difference in someone’s life. If you’re not comfortable with putting yourself out there (I confess I’m not that great at that) write a check to something you believe in – it can be 5 bucks, just do something!

If the 36K FB people did that instead of just sharing a quote what kind of impact do you think that would have on the world?
Alot of us don’t even say “Hi” to the people who live next door.

How about you just share smile at everyone you see today. Count how many smiles you get back and write me a comment. I really want to know.

Even that seemingly small effort will make a difference in our world, I guarantee.

The Fab Davene

About the author 

The Fab Davene

President and CEO of Training Solutions, LLC Davene has successfully run this lucrative training company for over 20 years. Subscribe for the 7-Day Mental Diet and get started on your new life.

  • D,
    This is so right on!!! We must change us and act upon new habits to have inner motivation. Quotes from others that impact our lives are for our own self talk. Spoken Affirmations, Quotes, etc., are for us to change ourselves within us. Once that change transform into a new habit then we are acting out our motivation to others.
    Great topic! I stopped paying others when I was taught to go within and I will find all my answers there. But first I needed to how to get there and your Genius Husband Mark J was there to show me the path to take, encourage me to walk the walk and my life is greater than I ever imagined.
    Joseph Campbell relates to us this message:
    “We must be willing to get rid of the Life we planned,so as to have the life that is waiting for us!” And THAT’S GOOD! (W. Clement Stone)
    Joseph A. Mitchell
    “Mr. Positive Mental Attitude”

  • Wouldn’t be Great If we could let our guard down and for a moment and be able to give that TRUE Unconditonal Love to another that Animals have for us!!!!!

  • You nailed it Davene. That is so true. We have to start right at home. How many of us are so busy in our lives to notice our own kids, husband, friends and relatives. When was the last time we gave a pure smile to someone or just do an act of kindness without expecting anything? I really enjoy this post. That is why you are amazing and fabulosa

  • So perfectly true, it’s funny, most people know this but for some reason, most of us don’t act on it. We seem to fall right back into our old habits. Well, maybe, just maybe your post will inspire even one person to make the small changes. Could it be me??????

  • Mark’s right about “irritation”…..when you get irritated, you usually take action. I’m guilty on the FB quote thing but am also big into taking action, particularly in the last year…..just ask anyone in my family! (inside joke) Thanks to you both and Happy New Year! Miss you guys.

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