October 21, 2010


While reading Chuck Anderson’s blog this morning I had to laugh, he and his wife, Lisa had been “snippy” with each other. ¬†He has the courage to share with us. ¬†And he added that since they were doing the Master Key Master Mind Alliance together and were in business together all would be right in their world. ¬†HA! NOT! ¬†What I think is really terrific is that Chuck noticed this behavior and decided to write about it. ¬†So I will too.

To my great surprise I found out, just recently, that I am very competitive. Huh, me competitive?  No.

I’ll tell you it was a shock, for all of ¬†you who have heard Mark’s webinars on the colors or heard his CDs out there you’ll know what I mean when I say I always considered myself a “yellow” personality. ¬† Meaning very nurturing and helpful like a nurse or a mom who has all the neighborhood kids at her house. ¬†You know the type, sweet, helpful. ¬†Now I find out that I am not yellow at all (btw¬†we are all a rainbow I am just talking about the main personality trait) but RED!!! ¬†What? ¬†No way Mark is a RED!!! ¬†The Donald Trump type. ¬†Real bossy, bottom line and COMPETITIVE!!! ¬†Not me, no way.

Boy I was wrong, do you know how many times I have said “I will kick your ass.” ¬†Not meaning beat you up, well most of the time not meaning beat you up. ¬†Meaning beat you at tennis, checkers, cards, bowling, running to the car from the store, board games, making coffee, cleaning the house whatever. ¬†I do everything myself and don’t ask for help because NO ONE CAN DO IT AS WELL AS I CAN, I WILL JUST HAVE TO DO IT OVER…. ¬† ¬†I have said that a million times. ¬†I just found out a few weeks ago I am not at all who I thought I was. ¬†Here a good example. ¬†Last week on the MKMMA call Kathy Zimmer mentioned a couple of people who have all, or most, of the MKMMA blogs on their blog roll. ¬†The first thing I thought was I gotta get my blog roll going I have to have a bigger blog roll than them. ¬† If you thought that too you are a red. ¬†So now I have to change my PPNs and my DMP. ¬†Lots of things have to change because change it good and we all change. ¬†We are all always moving, changing, either backwards or forward which way we go is our choice.

Why did Chuck remind me of that you may ask? ¬†Well because there was a big ruckus here yesterday, snippy is cuddling compared to this ordeal. ¬†I don’t care really, what the neighbors think, but they know for sure that this is a “spirited” household. ¬†Here’s the thing, and we’re going to call it the “thing”, OK. ¬† The thing is sometimes when my husband The World’s Laziest Networker challenges me OR I think I am right about something OR ¬†I don’t understand and he tells me it’s because I wasn’t paying attention OR some other crap OR blah, blah, blah. ¬†Man the burns me up. ¬†Who the F@*K is he to tell me I’m not paying attention, I am way faster than him, I do more, I work harder, I think faster, I type faster, I can pay attention to 3 things at once who the hell does he think he is talking to…. ¬†Time for humble pie. ¬†I am so friggin competitive and I want so much to be right that I fight back. ¬†Then I will really want kick his ass. The other meaning, kick his ass. ¬†Poor guy, he is so patient when I forget who I am. ¬†Whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy. ¬†Lucky me! ¬†AND he is way, way, way smarter than me. ¬†Although he does type wicked slow.

So Chuck if you think you guys should be “right with the world”. ¬†Guess what? ¬†You are! ¬†You are always right with the world but there is the human element, the EGO that messes things up. ¬†The EGO was in charge yesterday. ¬†I know when people who love each other argue or fight it’s because we are sandpaper for each other, rubbing and rubbing off all the rough edges making each other smooth. ¬†Since I am grappling with this new information about who I am and giving up chemical addictions to peptides (darn it) and the like there is going to be some snippy, some ruckus, some knock down drag out. ¬†But Mark makes me smooth, all this growing and learning and sometimes fighting makes me a better person, a bigger channel for service. ¬†I’m grateful to be so loved, but I know that I have to love myself to receive this great gift and I do. ¬† And I’ll tell you this we are NOT living lives of quiet desperation, every second of every day is an adventure. ¬†Although sometimes bumpy, ¬†I love this ride.

Blessings and Believe,

Davene J

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The Fab Davene

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  • Davene,
    This is funny…I can just hear you telling Mark you are going to “Kick his #ss”…Also, I hear what you are saying about now thinking you are a ‘red’ but remember, you are also from Lynn and by extension Fiesty!…You are probably now saying that I just – Made the list!…Awesome post. Thanks for the chuckle.

  • OKAY, I have to set the record straight!! It was ME who said Chuck and I were being snippy with each other…(Totally HIS idea to blog about it though)……but this came about after my youngest daughter, Kari (who we got to see here last night in San Diego) said she and her boyfriend were being snippy with each other, (hope neither of them are reading this!!!)…..I told her that Chuck and I were doing the same thing………..that particular conversation led me to mention it to Chuck this morning and “I” said, “I thought we were kind of, sort of, maybe, being snippy too! See, I consider myself a “yellow” personality, because I too thought I was the nurturing, giving, all about the kids, can’t rock the boat kind of person. To be honest, I think I still am, but I have to tell you, I went right in and got all you guys on my blog roll too, the same day as the webinar! I’m not a “red” but I am definitely competitive and have the desire to win. There are still a lot of my childhood memories with a military, dominating dad that hold me back sometimes, but I’m getting better. Can you imagine being told as a kid, “don’t ‘tune’ up or I’ll give you something to cry about”? I cry at a drop of a hat today and I think it’s because I’m making up for all those lost times I wasn’t allowed to cry….This course is helping me to realize why I’ve done and made some of the decisions in my life…I’m so thankful for this course!!! Luckily I’m now married to someone who knows & loves me, sometimes too well, but at least we can recognize when we’re getting off track with one another. I may be the timid one in bringing it up, but together we are able to fix it. So we made a date this morning! Nothing like clearing the air……Davene, I love your sandpaper analogy! It makes perfect sense…….thank you for commenting on Chuck’s blog (I had a good laugh) and thanks to both you and Mark! from “orange” Lisa (I think I remember yellow mixed with red is orange)
    P.S. Now, will you please add me to your gosh darn blog roll??!!!!

    • Lisa you have stated it very well!!! I think that most households that stay together all have the very same problems in their lives. Everyone has to give and take. I have learned after 62 years it is a 99/99% relationship. Have a great day and thanks for all of your help.

  • How boring would our lives be if we were ONLY our primary colour all the time? Probably about as boring as a couple and their offspring ALL being the same primary colour. Actually, I know whereof I speak… Ian is primarily green with a lot of yellow, and I am primarily yellow with a lot of green. All 7 of our children are various mixes of yellow and green. Not that it makes life boring, by any means, but there’s certainly less friction than if we had reds.

    I beg to differ about the long MK blog lists, though. A blue might get ’em all, out of sheer enthusiasm. A green might get them because he loves collecting info. I’ve bookmarked quite a few in my favourites on my computer, just because I’m interested in this whole thing, and am following along as well as I can without being a member.

    Willena Flewelling

  • What a great post finding out who one really is. Keep the journey flowing. I’m sure its quite the relationship between you two.

    Have a great weekend.

  • Great post, I also love the sandpaper analogy. And I am glad to hear that it’s OK to question your original feeling about the PPNs because I find myself doing that! Might just need to change mine, and my DMP too. But that’s part of what makes this course so great, really learning who you are!

  • All right, already please add me to your blog and list will be longer yet. I ditto everything you said because I couldn’t have said it better. The only difference is I am the red married to the yellow (at least that is what he is today), but oh boy, the sandpaper we use in this house. Thanks for sharing. I was getting tired of swallowing my feelings while trying to be this new, improved, rebuilt person.

    I sweated over my DPN writing rewriting, rewriting and he sits down & jots off a few lines and receives a glowing response from you, girlfriend. I am happy he got the recognition because he needs it, but boy my competitive spirit went nuts.
    Of course, he is the song writer, the dreamer, the creative type and he should be able to weave the words, but that still doesn’t stop me from wanting to come out swingin’.

    Look forward to Sunday and thanks for all that you do behind the scenes.
    Faye Story

    • How funny Faye!! I think there’s a bit of competitiveness in all of us MKMMA’s…..otherwise, we wouldn’t care about the self improvement we’re under-going in this course.

  • This is just too funny Davene! It’s a love story too. According to your voice It’s hard to picture you as a “Red”. Yet, I know where you are coming from. I’m a yellow and was married to a red and oh yeah, he brought out the red in me! I love your post.

  • Twitter: August 23, 2012Lol. Great convo!I’m an English teacher and my hunbasd is a computer programmer. Long ago we made a pact that I will not correct his grammar and he will not get frusrated at my technical abilities. Sometimes I make mistakes in my writing and he makes mistakes in his keystrokes and it just isn’t fair to compare.Emily recently posted..

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