November 19, 2010

Don’t Think You Can Change The World

Has someone ever told you something about yourself, and you thought, or said, “No, I don’t do that” or  “I’m not like that.” If I want to change the world and don’t think I can change the world I had better look at that particular behavior.

That happened to me yesterday and I was so shocked.  I know it’s happened before in my past but I never really thought about it.  There I go not thinking again.  Anyway, for the last 3 days, it has been raining here, not just raining, like this amazing downpour rain.  Also thunder and lightning – it’s been just awesome.  Since we live on an ocean-front desert there isn’t a lot of rain.  Just 12 inches a year although only a few miles away is literally the wettest spot on the earth 445 inches of rain a year!  It’s really very cool and very spiritual somehow. But this is about if you don’t think you can change the world, you’re right.

don't think you can change the world
Kokee Lookout

The reason the weather is such a fun, exciting, interesting thing is that where I come from, my whole entire life, the weather was a constant source of complaints.  Everybody complains about the weather in New England and why not it’s not really that great.  There is even this old saying, “If you don’t like the weather in New England wait a minute.”   The other old saying is “there are 2 seasons in New England, winter and August”.  You only get a few truly fantastic days in the year.

So I grew up in this environment.  Steeped in complaining  If it’s not the weather it’s the roads or the bad drivers or the Red Sox or whatever.  It’s like Rosanne Rosanna Danna’s mother always used to say, ” It’s always something,”  So that’s why I was so surprised when Mark said to me yesterday, “You don’t complain.”  This really shocked me, I said, “Yes I do. I complain all the time.”  He just shook his head.

I was relating a story to him about someone who complains all the time and I said, “I mean, I know I complain too but this is really constant complaining.”  And then he told me that I don’t complain and I was like what’s wrong with this guy, does he see me through rose-colored glasses, for crying out loud he announces to the whole world that I am fabulous all the time.  I am starting to think he really believes it.  🙂  This starts me thinking.  (I always think way more during the MKMMA classes, it’s such a good thing.)   So I think about this, why does he think I don’t complain.  So I ask my kids what do they think.  Same reaction, “Mom you never complain”, my oldest thinks I should complain more!!!   Ok, I’m really thinking WTF is going on, who is this person I am looking back at from the glass.  And it comes to me, you know what – I am complaining, all the time, except it’s inside my friggin head.

Holy Crap!  I realize that all this negative complaining is going on a lot but I just don’t actually say anything out loud.  Oh my gosh, I am telling you I am blown away by this, and even though I have been on the wacky, wonderful mental diet I didn’t see this behavior as negative.  I was just ruminating in my head about the things that hurt me, the sciatic, the lower back, the shoulder, a headache, all this work I have, my husband’s annoying habits (not bad, he’s a joy), the computer running too slow, my battery dying on my phone, the sandy, muddy footprints from all the rain that I am going to have to clean up, the trash not taken out, on and on and on.

My only explanation is that because these things only affected me I didn’t say them out loud and in turn that it isn’t negative thinking.  About that, I’m not even really sure.  I didn’t see these constant little, tiny, internal complaints as negative.  But they are and just because I am not trash-talking someone or overtly being negative about a situation doesn’t mean it’s OK.   ETERNAL VIGILANCE.  Every moment of every day forever I have to be on guard not to let anything, nothing, not one single negative thought into my subconscious.

This truly explains the poverty in the world, not just financial but spiritual, health poverty.  Why aren’t we taught how important, so vitally important our thinking is.  There are skills taught for everything else under the sun from needlepoint to networking marketing.  I am/was conforming to the thought processes that have always been a part of me because no one gave me the skills of thinking.  Not anymore.  I’m on the case!

Let’s spread the word far and wide and affect change everywhere and with everyone we can.  Shout from the roof, we need to learn how to think for ourselves the right way.  Let’s use little Rachael Carbo as an inspiration to change the world.  Let’s teach every little child how to think correctly and that way change the world.

I mean this is what we are trying to do here, with the class.  I know we are offering really generous compensation, but really what is the reward here.  We teach you some stuff, some great stuff, we show you how to expose other people to it and then you decide whether or not you want to share it, once you have experienced it.  But really what are we doing here, we ARE changing the world.  Maybe it’s only 1 family, or 1 sweet, precious little girl at a time but what does that matter.  An ant can eat a lion one bite at a time.

I believe it’s an honor to be able to present the course to anyone, we are lucky to have it and share it – we aren’t the only ones who get blessed by it.  Just imagine the change we can affect.

Blessings & Believe,


About the author 

The Fab Davene

President and CEO of Training Solutions, LLC Davene has successfully run this lucrative training company for over 20 years. Subscribe for the 7-Day Mental Diet and get started on your new life.

  • Davene, It just goes to show that even the professional can learn something. Negative thoughts lead to negative actions and this is what as a MMA member we are taught to reject. This is a great post and You and Mark are doing a great job. A personal Thank You for making my life better.

  • Wow Davene! This was enlightening…..I thought I was doing so well with the ‘no negative’ words coming out of my mouth. I read a lot of blogs and so many people were having a tough time with that part…I sailed through this task, or thought I did…..When we were growing up, my real dad clamped down pretty hard on my brother and I and we weren’t allowed to talk, voice an opinion or even cry ..He was military and very strict…many times we were threatened with physical punishment if we started to cry when we knew we were in trouble. Consequently, I got real good at not voicing an opinion, sharing a feeling, etc. Now I cry at the drop of a hat and can’t control it….But I hadn’t thought about how much goes on in my mind that’s negative….I didn’t think it counted if it didn’t come out of my mouth. You just threw me a curve ball and now I’ll have to deal with this……but you’re right, Eternal vigilance, back to the drawing board and big work to do on my subconscious…..thanks for bringing this to light.

  • Davene, thank you for the honesty of this post. May I use something I just put on Laurie Basile’s blog? When we read the thoughts of other people in MK they are like telescopes on our own lives. Showing us what we missed because we were to busy.
    Keep on plugging you are making a difference, to me in particular.
    p.s. Did you know Mark’s photo comes up as a reply on your blog?

    • Ya – sometimes I am logged in as Mark when I am working on his blogs. Not writing them just adding people and stuff like that and I forget that I am replying as him. We look alike though don’t ya think?

  • Hi Davene, You are so right about vigilance, We have come so far in 8 weeks, I think about the principals all day. It always seems to be in my mind. 8 weeks ago it would have been difficult to imagine this. Your posts continue to inspire and amuse me. Good one!


  • Davene this is a wonderful post very enlightening and informative. It is really hard not to have some of those negative thoughts just as long as we don’t
    hold onto them. This definitively is a learning experience.

  • I like it Davene when people talk about the weather back East. We have the same saying her in Colorado “if you don’t like the weather just wait a minute and it will change. Yesterday it was bloddy coold. Today I was brushing the dog in my shirt sleeves. We get a few inches of snow and it’s usually gone the next day.
    You are so right if you think about those silly little things always pop into our minds. Someone does some little thing and you think “jerk” negative! This course can change a little at a time and I think it is working. This is a wonderful course that you and Mark have put together thanks to both of you. My computer is working now and I can print out the copies that are required without a problem I am thankful for that as it has stopped the stress I was feeling. For three weeks we would think we had the problem fixed and then it was right back, I was ready to pull my hair out each time.
    Thanks again to both of you.

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