December 5, 2010

I’m NOT a dog person.  I love dogs, I appreciate dogs, from a distance.  I watch Westminster every year and I know the breeds pretty well and I think they are wonderful animals.  The Dog Whisper is a great show, I love Ceasar.  I cry when these people learn how to love their dogs and take care of them.

I had a dog when I was a kid, Hercules, a Samoyed mix.  White hair on everything.  I never got attached to him I think because I lost my first pet, Bob Brid, who was eaten by the family cat and I never really got attached to any animal again.

Dogs are messy and I am not a messy person.  My kids pick on me because I am too clean and a little fanitical about housework.  I would never have gotten another dog, NEVER, but then I married a dog lover.  A REAL dog lover.

When I met Mark he didn’t have any dogs.  A year or so after we met he got 2 dogs.  I thought he was crazy.  2 big hairy, smelly, messy  English Setters, Panama and Chiefy, yes beautiful animals but talk about messy.  Slobber puss both of them.  We weren’t dating or anything at the time but we did work together alot and I was at his house often with those 2.  Then if you can imagine it he got another English Setter, Tommy!  Now I knew he was nuts.  Three big, hairy, smelly, messy dogs.  OMGOSH really?  Mark never seemed to notice the yucky part of dogs.  He just loved those dogs and they loved him.  He always said I just didn’t get it about the dogs.  He was right.

These are amazingly beautiful dogs, Panama and Chief both best in show types.  Chief was a champion and a sweetheart but not for me.  He didn’t get them as puppies and a few years later Chiefy died that was sad because he was the best one.  Now he was down to 2 dogs when I moved in with my girls.

Why do I tell you all this?   Well Tommy will be here in a few days and I am back to being a dog owner and it got me thinking.

Having dogs when you don’t want them is kinda like learning the Master Key System.  There are amazing lessons if you just stick with it.  If you don’t give up on it or yourself, if you just don’t do the ‘start and don’t fininsh thing, AGAIN’.

I have learned so much from living with these dogs.  If you know anything about English Setters you know they are very slobbery, especially when they eat and drink.  Mark would have the dogs in the bedroom at night and they would drink from the bowls and make a big mess on the floor right in my path to the bedroom door.  I would have to walk through it every morning.  I would get so mad, and Mark said one day, “Why don’t you just move the bowls?”   Huh, move the bowls, why didn’t I think of that?   Then he can walk through the messy wet floor.  Well if I move the bowls then I don’t have my resentment anymore.  Did I want that resentment?   Yep I think I did.  Now,today, I know that I was addicted to the feelings and resentments of having dogs I didn’t want.  That lesson started a whole chain reaction of all kinds of lessons for me.

Hey if you don’t like something why don’t YOU do something about it.  This was huge for me because I just let things that bother me go and I don’t say anything.  I still do it but nothing compared to before the ‘why don’t you just move the bowls’ lesson.

This lesson taught me to take PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY for my feelings and reactions.  When I don’t like something that’s going on I have a choice to either deal with it WITHOUT holding resentment or do something about it.  Practically nobody I know acts the way I want them too so this is a great lesson for me.  Thanks Panny and Tommy.

Here comes Tommy in a few day, he is the messiest of them all, he was the hardest one for me to deal with because he is just a ball of love and it feels yucky to be mad at him for just being a dog.  Being who he is.  But you know what Tommy loves me no matter what I do.  If I yell at him or make him stay in his crate or don’t let him run and jump in the house or the many, many things I don’t let Tommy do, he still loves me.  The lesson for me is BE LIKE TOMMY.  WHAT!  That’s right because no matter how much of an A-hole I am Tommy loves me.  I remember to be like him and when someone is pissing me off or being a jerk I learned from this dog to just love them.  Tommy only sees the divine in me.  This dog, the bain of my housekeeping existence, is my idol.  What a gift that I want to be like Tommy.  I think I will be more messy when I eat.

About the author 

The Fab Davene

President and CEO of Training Solutions, LLC Davene has successfully run this lucrative training company for over 20 years. Subscribe for the 7-Day Mental Diet and get started on your new life.


  • Great Post Davene:
    Having dogs is llike having kids. You really get attached to both of them. Who wants to lose a kid or a dog? Not me I love them both. Our daughter just added 2 of the most darling pruebred border collies to our family. Bayle and Lala. They both love everyone but my Dusty is not so sure. He puts up with them but…stay out of my bed! Dusty was sick last night and wanted out repeatedly, even though I yelled at him he still loved me and was excitied that I was there for him when he came back in the house. For some unknown reason dogs love us for what we are without limitations. Davene you will love Tommy when he gets there slobbers and all.

  • Davene, Amazing post. Got me over the panic attack I’ve been having this a.m. over MKMMA – might have to do a blog on it! Thanks for being so transparent and so YOU!

  • I can so relate. My dog stories are too long to share but someday when we are having coffee and waiting for Oprah to show up I will share some funny dog stories with you. Loved your post!

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